Is it just me or have you noticed how many people are so quick to jump into a marriage that follow by a divorce shortly after. What is going wrong within all of these relationships? I have formed my own opinion based off of what I have experienced with my own parents divorce, as well as my friends I surround myself with. I think it's because many people today are too focus on with what's going on right now and they tend to forget about the "long run" of things. Many of my friends are too blind to see that just because things are perfect now and everyone happy that maybe tomorrow something unexpectedly could happen that could bring difficulties within a relationship. Once there faced with a problem, the first thing either one of them want to do is point to blame on the other person instead of finding a way to work together and overcome the problem. Why does someone always have to take the fault? Another reason I believe couples tend to get a divorce because everyone wants to think that there's always something better out there, they just can't be happy with what they have. Once people tend to have something and know that it theirs, eventually what they have isn't as good as it was before to them and they find something else that catches their eye. I believe this is a reason because a lot of people are getting married right out of high school to people that they grew up with and most of the time, they haven't really met different people outside of what their comfortable with and once a person starts to meet new people and gain new experiences outside of what they know, they start to think that maybe there's something more out there for them, something so much more exciting.
Another big issue and it is consider to be the number one issue why people get divorce is money. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/35097/top_reasons_people_divorce. Money can cause a lot of problems within a relationship. When their starts to be trouble with the household finances, it's like everything else starts to come crashing down. After they do say "money makes the whole go round" and I believe it is very true. I am sure that all of you have seen someone go through a financial hardship, if you haven't yourself been in one. It brings on a lot of added stress to an individual and that not even including if the individual had a spouse and children to provide for. I believe money can make a person change, it can make a person harder to communicate with, and also makes you feel a little withdrawal from someone who is having money problems because they tend to have such a negative outlook on the situation. Eventually you just grow tired of listening to the negativity and I think it like that in a marriage too. One spouse will grown tired of the negativity brought on by the financial hardship within the family and decides the best options is too leave.
These are just my reasons on why I think in general why so many people are getting divorces and I could be right or wrong, but based of the experiences I have been through and seen these are the main reason why people just cant get along and make a marriage work.
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I totally agree with you! Why can’t people just get along and make their marriages work?! You know, I think these are one of those questions that will never have a straight up answer. Just like you, I have seen things happen right before my eyes as well. One of my cousins got married last year, and Guess what? She ended up divorcing the guy just after 1 month! How crazy is that?! Not just me, but all of my relatives went into shock. As of today, we still couldn’t figure out why this ever happened and how could it have been prevented. It is very true that people nowadays rush into marriage, without ever thinking of future-especially teenagers (as sad as it is to say). Then, when they face any sort of problem, whether it is just a minor one or a huge one, the one and only solution they tend to find is “divorce.” I never understood why it is like this and I don’t think that I will ever understand. It seems as if marriage has become a joke or is not taken seriously anymore. I don’t think there is a difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife anymore. Ok, well I will stop right here but I can go on all day with this topic saying a million different things. If you haven’t noticed, I really like the topic that you chose and I am eager to read what you will write next. Hopefully, you can come to a conclusion and really find out why the divorce rates are growing! Good Luck! Oh yes, to help you out a bit, I found a website that talks about divorce rates throughout the years and hopefully you’ll like it!
http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml
This is interesting, insightful, and for a lot of divorcees, on the money. As a divorced woman, I can tell you personally that my ex and I thought that the similarities we had would beat out any differences. And what was one of those differences? Money. We were total opposites when handling that big issue. Also, as much as we liked each other as persons, our desires for the future (where to live, kids, etc.) were really not along the same lines. Had I been older and wiser, and he wiser and less initially accepting, we might not have fallen into marriage.
This post really made me reflect on past experiences. That's great! Now think of how you can factor in/fold in data from those who are also writing on this subject so that you create a web of dialogue on this subject, just like we are doing now...
I also agree on your blog about divorces. Being in the Marine Corps for the last seven years I have seen people get married for the most ridiculous reasons: to get out of field day formations, extra pay, which isn't even that much, or they were lonely living in the barracks. Almost every one of these vows were broken in less than a year. It is very sad to see good people make such foolish mistakes but it is also a good learning experience for them. Usually these lessons learned make for a wiser, mature person.
Divorce, Divorce, Divorce. What can i say, well for starters it is a more profound issue than what they are having currently in the relationship. I think it all goes back into knowing your partner and being confortable with them. It's funny that you talked about this because I used to work in a Legal Assistance office in Camp Lejeune and we handled alot of "Family Law" issues (mainly separations and divorces). After hearing these stories they all go back to not knowing your partner. As for each person I think they feel that there is a drought in the opposite sex (either they are now gay or taken), so they are now quick to jump the gun and settle down with someone they know (well at least think they know). This does not allow you time to work out the differences. Society has made it to a point where it becomes accepted that we can be married after 2 maybe even 3 months. As long as they do not come and cry on my shoulder.
You make some interesting points on divorce. I think one aspect you might look at is how divorces aren't on the rise everywhere, but mainly in the US. It could be it's part of the me, me, me attitude. Where people want to be happy, and they want it right now, they don't want to have to work at it.
I do agree with you. Couples are so quick to call it quits, rather than work out their problems. No one consider counseling any more. I am not saying stay together for the kids but, consider why you got together in the first place. Then try a separation. When all avenues are exhausted then the divorces is considered.
If a divorce is the final outcome, then make it applicable.
I think the problem with marriage today is just how easy it is to end. There is no longer a stigma attached to divorce and people are very accepting of those who choose this path. There are times when divorce is warranted like when domestic violence is an issue. Yet this is not the norm and for the most part, not the reason people get divorced. I believe people just give up when it gets too hard and it is easier to simply walk away. You can even buy a kit which tells you how to file for divorce at Staples. Can you get any easier than that? We have also lost a lot of old fashioned values as we move into the future. Values like fidelity, honesty and commitment. Without these, how can you possibly maintain something as important as a committed relationship to another person? I think we need to go back a few years and remember that divorce is not an acceptable way to solve a problem, and that you have to stay and work through it. Outside of the very few valid reasons for divorce, there is no reason. We need to stick in there, work hard and remember the reason we took those vows in the first place - because we loved the person next to us. I don't think this problem will get better but only worsen through time, because people just simply don't hold the same morals they did in years past. After all why work at something when you can simply turn your back and walk away?
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